A Life Changing Event?

I spent last week at the Jewell Early Music Festival Workshop. It was a great experience and has taken a few days for me to digest my feelings about the workshop. For one thing, this was the first time since Boyo was born that I've been away from my children. Sure, I saw them each morning before I left for the day, but they were always asleep before I got home and I was basically away from them for 5 days straight. (Thanks to Curmudgeon. A lot of husbands might complain or feel put-upon to do that for a full week, but not mine. He's enthusiastic, supportive and excited to spend time with the kiddos. :)

Those of you who know me well know that for the past 12 years I've had an unhealthy, unproductive relationship with my voice. I have never quite been able to get over the disappointments of college or the shattering blows to my self confidence. I've gone back and forth between heartbreaking desire,  crippling fear and bitter resentment at the perceived injuries done to my nonexistent career.

At the same time, I've continued to sing here and there, even doing a public solo recital in Alaska and joining Curmudgeon in his recital at OSU. When we moved to Kansas I was determined to find a way to sing here so I began researching for a teacher. I was lucky enough to get a place with the best early music specialist in the area and we've been working together now for about six months. The improvement in my vocal health, confidence and knowledge is plain. 

When I found out about the JEMSfest and immediately knew I needed to attend. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that the experience will change my life. The workshop was a fun mix of vocal masterclasses and lessons, ensemble work, rehearsals with instrumentalists on period-instruments and finally, solo and ensemble recitals and a final concert including the performance of the first English opera: Venus and Adonis by John Blow.  As much as I enjoyed all of the work and the rehearsals, the most important aspect of the week was making connections. Getting work in this (or any) business is 90% about who you know. Cynical as it sounds, it's been a huge boost for me to realize that. 

My confidence also got a big shot-in-the-arm as I worked with other professionals who treated me not like a student and not like an amateur, but like a fellow musician. I came out of the workshop with invitations to join a number of local ensembles and I'm on "the list" now. One of the voice faculty, a professional countertenor, told me that he was so glad I was in KC and that he is going to do whatever he can to make sure I get work as a soloist around here.  For the first time since I was a teenager, I feel like I am not just a pretend-musician. I feel like I just found the golden ticket...I have relationships now and there are people in my corner.

It has all been a treat. In September I'll start rehearsals with these different ensembles. I'll continue working with my own fabulous teacher and keep building my skills and repertoire. It's exciting.

Less exciting is the fact that I can't seem to make embedding audio in blogger work anymore, so if you want to hear anything, you can check out my website here on the ABOUT page. There's one recording from the workshop and I found it a little disappointing. The mic was too far away so it's a bit quiet and when I listen some major things pop out that I'd do differently next time, but it at least gives you an idea of the stuff I'm working on. That piece, by the way, is one that I transcribed from a facsimile of the original 1664 printing...pretty fun project.